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The year was 2006. Da Superfans were young and untested, with our only Super Bowl fan experience coming in 1986, when Oldsmobiles weren't yet ultra-hip and our mustaches looked less like thickets and more like bad combovers that had drifted south. And I, Lou Mangione, had chosen #59, defensive coordinator Ron "Chico" Rivera as my favorite Bear.

Life was so simple back then. After a one-year love affair with a deserving Charles "Peanut" Tillman, I turned my attention to Rivera, who seemed to meet more of my needs, including the fabulous Superfanized pronunciation of the name "Ron."

Growing up on the most famous cul-de-sac in Rosemont, Illinois (of course I’m talking about Krowka Lane), the neighborhood kids used to make fun of me. I was born with a world-record seven kidneys, giving me a slight bulge around my midsection (which in my adult years has often required an undergarment for support). It hurt to set picks in basketball, and so I was always chosen last. But it also left me with a mean temper and an abnormal capacity to digest massive amounts of protein and sodium.

I took my buddy Dave out for dinner at Ditka's steakhouse the other night. The waitstaff was amazing, and the food was beyond belief. I had a RARE (so rare a good vet could revive it, as my mom used to say) 32oz steak called the "tomahawk," so named because the meat looks like the blade of an axe and the bone curves wayyy down to form the handle. I didn't throw this at anybody, however. It was too huge.

I have to say, I'm really pleased with the way our boys played yesterday. Our defense was able to stop cold the best player in the freakin' NFL, and our offense (with a few exceptions) proved it was, more or less, improved over last year.

Freakin' spectacular. I'm gonna try to get him to remix Bear Down, or something.

I believe the requisite taunts-per-day ratio is 5.0 - I'm now doing approximately 7.8, mostly directed towards Jets or Giants fans. It seems that the number of people out there who make fun of my Bears fan status is inversely proportional to the number of days until the official season starts. This, of course, means I must retaliate; my latest thing is to say, "Oh, a Jets fan, eh? How about this: S-U-C-K SUCK SUCK SUCK!" Original, I know.

Well, 3 outta four ain't bad. I'm not complaining, anyway - we most likely lost because our starters were taking it easy. I'm really excited with Garrett Wolfe's plays, and pretty bummed about Olsen being out for the first few weeks. Here's to hoping that it'll calm him down a little bit.

Tommie Harris finally came back. He played pretty well, but I'd bet he was told to take it easy to avoid injuries. Let's hope he can stay healthy for the whole season.

That's all for now - I've got a Hawkeyes game to get to.

Tonight the Bears play their last preseason game, against the Browns. I don't think anyone out there is concerned about this one, and I'd put good money on Lovie keeping most everybody on first string out of the game after about two minutes. We gotta stay healthy for that Chargers game.

I did, however, receive the following from Tommie Harris (posted as a bulletin on MySpace):

My 1st game back, since my injury, is TONIGHT vs the Browns... Watch your boiiiii on NBC 5 at 7pm!!!!!
God Bless yall!!!!

Real Deal DT #91

Chicago papers are reporting that Briggs' Lamborghini was crashed last night, but nobody was hurt and nobody was on the scene.